Much at Stake
by Mediancat
Summary: Take Buffy, Giles, a new Slayer, a possible new Watcher, a scheme by Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, add what Phineas and Ferb are going to do today, stir well, and stand back.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I'll get back to this one, if there's interest, once I'm done with _Martian Manhunter._ It's set randomly post-season-& Buffy, at no particular time in P&F continuity, and is a response to the "To Boldly Go" Challenge.

Buffy was created by Joss Whedon. _Phineas and Ferb_ was created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh.

X X X X X

Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher stood in the bathroom brushing their teeth while they discussed what they were going to do today.

"Clone a couple of mastodons?" Phineas asked.

Ferb shook his head.

Phineas said, "Right. It's summer and it's probably way too hot for them. Hey! I know! We could test out those jetpacks we built yesterday!"

Ferb nodded, reluctantly.

"Yeah. That's not enough by itself. We need to test them by using them to do something else. Any ideas?"

Ferb shrugged.

"That's okay," Phineas said. "I'm sure we'll come up with something. We always do!"

Right then, there was a pounding on the door. "Are you done in there yet? I have to look nice in case Jeremy calls!"

The brothers left the room and headed downstairs, oblivious to the glare of their sister. They didn't have much time to talk about their day's plans while they were eating. Perry, their pet platypus, wandered by and chittered.

Once they were done, Phineas realized something. "Say, Dad, aren't you usually gone by now?"

"Usually, yes, I am," Lawrence Fletcher said. "But today I'm taking a day off. An old friend of mine from England is coming in and he may be offering me a chance to do some real old-fashioned treasure hunting."

"Cool!" Phineas said. "Hey, Ferb! I know what we're going to do today!"

Ferb, the man of action as always, looked at his brother quizzically.

"We're going to explore the caves outside of Danville."

"Oooh," Linda Flynn said. "Aren't those dangerous?"

"Dad?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, not at all. They've got a park ranger there and everything. Doesn't let people go in more than a hundred feet or so. It's all well-lit."

"Oh, well, I suppose that's alright. Have fun, boys!"

"Where's Perry?"

A G E N T P

The monotreme in question had slipped away during breakfast and taken his usual secret passage to the underground lair. He plopped out of the tube and landed normally, then walked over to the view screen.

Where was his chair?

As he wondered, the giant-screen monitor came on, and Major Monogram appeared. "Agent P!" the major said. "Sorry about that. We're having all the chairs oiled and we didn't get yours back in time. But you know you can't rush these things, not if you want to get rid of that infernal squeaking. Annoying as anything."

Noting Perry's steady, moderately annoyed gaze -- since the platypus couldn't talk and had never learned sign language, he was more or less limited to communicating via glare and stare and had really become quite good at that -- Major Monogram said, "But enough about that. It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz again. He's purchased almost all the garlic in the tri-state area. Italian restaurants are going out of business -- and my wife and I have reservations tonight at Giacomo's. It's our anniversary, so I don't want to disappoint her. Not like last year, when _someone_ forgot to order those flowers."

"Sorry, sir!" Carl's high-pitched voice came from offscreen.

"Had to sleep on the couch for a week. I don't want that to happen again. Find Doofenshmirtz and make sure that garlic gets to those restaurants. We're all counting on you, Agent P. Good luck."

The screen clicked off. Seconds later, Perry was flying through the air using a rocket-powered hang glider.

Next stop: The not particularly secret headquarters of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

A G E N T P

First Linda had left; off to her cooking class again, Lawrence supposed. Then the boys, off to their big adventure, exploring the Danville Caverns. Seemed like an awfully big walk, but boys would be boys, after all.

Then Candace. When Lawrence had asked, "Where are you going, sweetheart?" she'd muttered "Have to bust them. Have to bust them." before running out and, apparently, chasing after the boys on her bike.

"Be careful, sweetheart!" He yelled after her, and was just about to sit down to read the morning newspaper when he heard a knock on the door. Opening it, he grinned.

"Lawrence!" the man said. "Good to see you."

"Rupert," Lawrence said. "The same. I'm so glad that you managed to survive those Bringers. Nasty, nasty business." He stepped back and allowed Rupert and his companion -- a young blonde woman, in her early 20's, Lawrence guessed -- to enter. He carefully did not invite them in. "Too bad so many of our colleagues can't say the same."

The blonde said, "How'd you get away?"

"Lawrence," Rupert said, "Was never actually a Watcher. His archaeological skills proved invaluable at times, but we could never convince him to join up."

"And the Bringers were going after actual Watchers and Slayers. Not the contract employees," the blonde said.

"Right," Lawrence said. "Fortunate for me. Not so much for the rest of you." They walked into the living room. "Rupert, would you and your -- um --"

Rupert said, "Sorry, I forgot to introduce you. Lawrence Fletcher., this is Buffy Summers, the chief Slayer. Buffy, this is Lawrence Fletcher, whose archaeological skills have proven invaluable to the Council; at times."

Lawrence shook Buffy's hand. "Nice to meet you, my dear, and my apologies for not recognizing you from Rupert's glowing descriptions."

Buffy looked at Rupert. "Glowing?"

"Well, um --"

"Because the way you described it to me was less 'glowing' and more 'flickering 25-watt bulb."

"Well, um --"

Lawrence saved Rupert from answering when he said, "In any event, I was about to ask you if either of you would like any tea? I know you can't get it made in the authentic fashion too often, Rupert."

"I should say not. While I have developed something of a tolerance for coffee I can never truly appreciate it the way I do well-made tea."

"Miss Summers?"

"No thanks," Buffy said. "I'm more or less the same way in reverse."

"Right! I'll be back in a flash!"

Authentic tea, already, and it wasn't even 9 AM.

This day was shaping up nicely so far.


	2. Glares 7 and 10

Hi! Blocked on The In-Dark at the moment; you take your inspiration where you can get it.

X X X X X

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, as was her wont, wandered into Phineas' backyard. Oh, and Ferb was there too. The boys were fiddling with something.

"Hi Isabella," Phineas said when he saw her.

"Hi guys! Whatcha doin'?"

"Me and Ferb are going to explore the Danville Caverns."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

Phineas said, "Not with all the stuff we've got," as Ferb gestured at their big pile of equipment, which was only slightly shorter than the house itself.

"Okay, then. Sounds exciting," Isabella said.

"We hope so! Want to come with us?"

"How are you going to carry all that?"

Restraining her fantasies, where Phineas had said "Me" and was waiting to whisk her off to a magical fairyland, Isabella said, "Sure!" Even if today wasn't the day, Phineas and Ferb's adventures were always a lot of fun. "So, how are you going to carry all that?"

"Miniaturization technology," Phineas said, as Ferb pressed the button on a small remote-control device and made everything in the big pile except for the jetpacks and some flashlights the size of a couple of packs of raisins.

"That is impressive," Isabella said. "Girls!"

The Fireside Girls popped their heads over the fence like so many prairie dogs. "Yes?" One of them asked earnestly.

"I'm going with Phineas and Ferb to the Danville Caverns. When should we be back by?" She asked Phineas.

"This afternoon by the time Mom gets home."

"So you know the drill!" She instructed.

"Aye-aye!" The Fireside Girls said in unison, and disappeared.

"Wait a minute," Phineas said. "The fence is six feet tall."

"And?" Isabella asked.

"So how did they look over the fence like that?"

"Fireside Girls secret," Isabella said.

"Ferb," Phineas said. "I know what we're going to do tomorrow!" Isabella strode over and glared at him angrily. "Or maybe not," he said.

"Darn right!"

"Okay!" Phineas said cheerfully. It was one of the things Isabella liked about him; almost nothing ever brought him down. "Let's go. Ferb! I got the equipment." He went over and picked up the flashlights and the "raisin boxes." "Could you get Isabella?"

As Ferb gave a thumbs up sign, Isabella said, "Why not you?" In point of fact, she daydreamed about Phineas carrying her off way too often for her own good.

"Well, Ferb's stronger, so he's less likely to drop you. And I'd hate it if you got hurt, you know."

"You would?" Isabella said eagerly.

"Of course. You're my friend."

Oh.

"Ready, Ferb?" Ferb nodded and came over and picked up Isabella.

Within seconds they were rocketing off towards the Danville Caverns.

X X X X X

"Stacy?" Candace Flynn said when her phone rang. "Where are you? I thought we were supposed to meet out here and then go to the caves."

"First," Stacy's voice came through the phone, "You said we were going to meet at the caves. You didn't even give me a chance to talk."

Affronted, Candace said," That's not true, Stacy!"

"Of course it is," Stacy said. "You were all 'Ohmigod Stacy I'm really going to be able to bust them this time! They're flying off on their stupid rocket-thingies and were all about how they were going to explore the superdangerous section of the caves. I know I can get them in trouble for that! Okay, gotta go, they're getting away, meet you at the caves in thirty minutes okgottagobye!' Much as I'd love to help you bust your brothers I've got something else I have to do today."

"But – but – it's dangerous."

"So don't go. You'll find another opportunity to bust your brothers tomorrow."

"But – but –"

"Won't you? They do something like this every day. You know that."

In a disgruntled tone. Candace said, "Yeah. But it won't work. It never does. Ever. They'll always find some way to make me look like a fool. A rocket comes along, or a giant vacuum, or some kind of mysterious beam. You know how it is."

"Sadly, yes. Look. I'm here. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

A G E N T P

(Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!)

Perry the Platypus crawled through the vents at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated until he saw Dr. Doofenshmirtz himself, standing in front of a big pile of garlic bulbs and containers of garlic powder, with a clothespin on his nose. He kicked the vent and landed in fighting stance on the floor.

"Perry the Platypus?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "This is totally unexpected."

Perry waited.

"I know this is where I usually say, 'and by unexpected I mean "Completely expected!"' and then capture you in one of my fiendishly clever traps, but honestly, I really wasn't expecting you this time. My traps are all in the shop getting repaired, anyway. I really should bill you for that, you know. It's your fault they keep getting broken. Anyway, I don't have anything evil planned today. Not even something kind of evil."

Perry glared (Glare 7: Yeah, _right_) and looked pointedly at the massive quantity of garlic that was sitting in some kind of glass-fronted cabinet behind Doofenshmirtz.

"What, that?' Doofenshmirtz said. "That has nothing to do with evil. Let me set the picture for you. Back when I was a small boy I was set out as a garden gnome – you know that bit, I've told you what, four times already?"

Perry nodded patiently.

"Well, anyway, after Balloonie floated away I started noticing these weird creatures walking around – not weird like a platypus, mind you - not that you're bad weird, but you have to admit, a platypus in the middle of the United States? Pretty weird - but weird like unicorns. Only they weren't unicorns. I hate unicorns, too! Have I told you –"

Perry cleared his throat.

"Oh, right. Sometimes when I get going on one of these flashbacks it's hard for me to stop. Maybe I should develop a flashback-shortinator or something."

Perry rolled his eyes.

"Oh, sure. You try to come up with a catchy name on the spur of the moment and see how easy it is. What would you call it?"

Perry, naturally, didn't answer.

"Uh-uh," Doofenshmirtz said triumphantly. "I thought so. Anyway, where was I? Right, the creatures back when I was the lawn gnome. It turned out they were vampires."

Perry raised his eyebrows; impressive trick for a monotreme who technically shouldn't have any.

"No, really!" Doofenshmirtz protested. "I even saw them attack people and drink their blood. I don't know why they never attacked me; maybe they thought I was actually a gnome or something. Anyway, they frightened me and I vowed that if I ever got the chance I would make sure none of them ever came to Danville. And they're here! Did you hear about that person who was found without any of their blood? That was them, I know it. And that's why I created—" he pulled a sheet off of a nearby pile Perry had long since pegged as his latest -inator and was mildly surprised to find what looked like an old biplane, with some kind of attachment on the bottom – "The garlic-inator! With this, I will drive away all of the vampires by spraying essence of garlic all over the tri-state area!"

Perry continued to glare at him steadily. (Glare 10: What do you want me to do about it?)

When Perry continued to not answer, Doofenshmirtz shrugged and said, "Well, I bought all the garlic fair and square – look, I have receipts! –" He pointed to a huge pile of cash register tape on a nearby table – "And unless it's against the law to run a giant garlic press you can't really try to thwart me or anything. So if you're not going to help me, the door's over there, and watch out for the freeze ray. It's not really working and just makes things kind of slushy."

Perry sighed. He knew about vampires, of course, but Doofenshmirtz was right that he wasn't doing anything illegal – yet. And garlic wouldn't kill vampires but it would drive them away for a while, so the mad scientist was for once doing the right thing, even if it was for selfish reasons.

He sighed, went over and picked up some garlic bulbs and put them to one side (for Major Monogram's anniversary dinner) and went over to see what he could do to help

A G E N T P

Buffy, Giles' and Lawrence Fletcher's conversation was interrupted after a half hour by a knock at the door. Buffy found the man's stories' interesting, even if he was a touch absent-minded. He was less at the Indiana Jones/Daniel Jackson "hot adventurer" end of the spectrum than the "man spending three months dusting off stone tablets" end, but of course you needed them as much as the other kind, and according to Giles Lawrence had found a number of ancient artifacts and scrolls that the old Council had looked for for ages.

"I wonder who that could be?" Lawrence asked.

"That's probably the newly activated Slayer we're here for," Giles gently reminded his friend.

"Oh. Right. I'll get it, then."

Buffy followed him to the door, keeping back; she wanted a look at this girl. But her view was blocked by Lawrence himself. "Hello," he said. "Are you here to see Candace, or Mr. Giles?"

"Mr. Giles," the girl said.

"Well, come in. I'm Lawrence Fletcher. And who might you be?"

"Vanessa. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz."

X X X X X

It was never going to be Stacy. She's at the doctor's or something.


End file.
